IN PRAISE OF CELL GROUPS BECAUSE OF LONG LASTING FRIENDSHIPS (A RESPONSE)
Proverbs 27:9
Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart,
and the pleasantness of one’s friend springs from his earnest counsel.
Further to my post of Saturday (9 Jan 10), here is a response from an ex-cell member (not the family who visited us in Auckland):
"Hi Pastor,
Thanks for the reflection. Indeed, this (Jurong cell) is the best group that we ever had. Members X, Y, your family and us; despite not meeting on a regular basis, still, the intimacy is always there. Even as we meet once a year, within minutes, we could start talking endlessly. There are numerous topics or subjects that we can speak on and on and on; and we are also not fearful of offending each other.
As a matter of fact, there is no barrier among ourselves; considering the different economic background or “status”…… . The fact is that we have been through those challenging moments as a cell and as a body, we have been able to see each other through during those difficult moments.
Most of all, it is the fact that we are called Christian brothers and sisters; with a common FATHER whom we call, that bind us together.
Even in my past cell group in Church A, the same goes to the very first cell that we were in. Those were the good times, but due to some unpleasant situation, the friendship has not been able to develop at a level as we are.
As for my current cell, the relationship is rather superficial despite being together for 3 years. I often try to gather the group together for events / outings but response is weak with at most 40% turn up rate only.
Back to our “Jurong Cell”, I must thank you for taking the time and effort in spending time with us before your departure to NZ.
At that time, I count it a privilege to have a cell lead by you – a Pastor. Importantly, it was your LOVE shown when leading us in the group; your patience in giving me the chance to play the guitar in the group….. these, I never forget.
This friendship I have; I dare not to take it for granted and will always give priority whenever there is a chance to meet. I believe there will be more tests ahead with regards to our friendship within this group but I have all the Faith that we will not be divided.
On a lighter note, sometimes I wonder what exactly is the chemistry within the group that gel us so well together !?!? :>)
I look forward to see you in Singapore."
May all of us be encouraged in persisting with discipleship in cell groups - sharpening one another and developing enduring friendships.
I hope to be able to share with all of us - after I chat with as many of my ex-cell members when I meet up with them again in Singapore - to ascertain what are some of the key ingredients that will help answer my friend's question "sometimes I wonder what exactly is the chemistry within the group that gel us so well together !?!?"
Monday, January 11, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
In Praise Of Cell Groups Because Of Long Lasting Friendships
Do we find it difficult to develop long lasting friendships?
Oh yes I find it difficult to develop enduring friendships.
And it is great to have a convergence of bible reading relating to friendships and a visit of long-time family friends.
I was reading Proverbs 27 today (Sat, 9 Jan 2010) which talked so much about friendships.
16 of the 27 verses in Proverbs 27 relates to relationships.
And the reading is just after a Singaporean family returned after visiting us and another couple in Auckland.
We can trace our friendship way back to around the mid-1990's when we were all from the same cell group in Jurong, Singapore. I was the pastor and zone supervisor and we were all very blessed by the thick friendships that developed over the course of time.
We have already been away in NZ for 7 years and we are so privileged to have friends who tell us that they are visiting NZ primarily to visit with us and that their touring of NZ is secondary.
Paying $2,300 per person at this peak period during their son's school holidays just to spend 8 days here in Auckland is an expression of their deep desire to remain in touch.
Wow!!! I am really touched and floored.
And awed by the grace of God expressing His love through His people.
Wouldn't we wish for more friends like these?
Yes the friendship can all be traced back to our cell group which started some 15 years ago. But fifteen years ago when we had the cell group, we didn't have this kind of expectation except that the cell group was the place to attend, to be involved in and to participate to be edified and to evangelize as we do the 4 W's - Welcome, Worship, Word and the Works.
In engaging in the Word of God as we developed in friendship and in trust, we expected and hoped for transparency in our sharing of the application of the Word of God in our lives. We prayed and hoped that each of us will grow in Christ. Hence, what we get out of the cell groups depends on the cell group dynamics and each individual cell member - whether we are committed in growing as disciples together and expressing the love of Christ towards each other.
We learn how to be sensitive to one another.
We learn not to impose our preferences (as opposed to fundamental Christian beliefs) on others as well as to know when to help.
We may think we may be a blessing but as today's proverbs tells us ...
Prov 27:14
"If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning,
it will be taken as a curse."
Sometimes the right action - the blessing - at the wrong time will be received as a curse.
This is the reason why there is a conflict stage in cell group dynamics.
Will we get pass this conflict stage?
Most cell groups do get pass this conflict stage if the members, especially the core members, pursue and persevere in discipleship.
We all learn to be more sensitive, more aware and less judgmental - and to pray and care for one another.
As trust and friendship develops, we find that we are in the position to sharpen one another.
Prov 27:17
As iron sharpens iron,
so one man sharpens another.
When we briskly rub the knife against the stone to sharpen it, sparks may fly.
Likewise, sparks may fly when cell members rubbed against each other as we all apply the Word to our lives - exchanging different perspectives, critiquing one another, causing each other to be more aware and more sensitive - or vice versa to be less sensitive and to read less into other people's actions. To be less speculative and presumptuous.
We learn not to boast of what we will do in the future (Prov 27:1) and not to praise ourselves for what we had done in the past (Prov 27:2).
Instead we learn to encourage one another by praising each other - because there is certainly good in all of us who not only desire to follow Christ but actually walk in His ways
(Ps 128:1 Blessed are all who fear the LORD,
who walk in his ways.)
As we grow in discipleship, the friendship will grow in intimacy - just as a husband and wife grow in love and intimacy as they grow in discipleship.
As a couple gets closer to God, they find that they get closer to each other as if they were at the base of a triangle coming towards each other as they reach God at the apex.
The foundational key is growth in discipleship.
Discipleship and growth involves openness and receptivity to critique within the friendship.
Prov 27:5 Better is open rebuke
Prov 27:6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted.
But do not accept judgmental comments that discourage us.
The end result of all the sharpening and why I am in praise of the cell group, is that we become such great disciples growing in Christ together in the cell group and growing in deep friendship like the friends who visited us. And we have more friends who could not visit us.
The end result is that we also have friends who are as close to us as our family members and for some, our cell members can be closer than our family members.
Prov 27:10
"better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away."
This is not to denigrate family relationships.
But sometimes a brother can be such a great distance away that our cell member and friend, who is our neighbor, will be in a better position to support us.
We still reminisce and remember the great times we had in the cell groups. The cell meeting will end at 10pm and we look forward to the time of fellowship and snacks. We fellowship until 11pm and sometimes we just lose track of time in the thick of the fellowship and laughter.
Food, Fun, Fellowship - a recipe for Friendship
(undergirded by Fellowship with our Heavenly Father).
This reflection is written in praise of God and in praise of cell groups which blessed us with great friends.
So join a group that talks of Christ ...
Remembering the great times ...
Thanks for being such a great friend.
Do we find it difficult to develop long lasting friendships?
Oh yes I find it difficult to develop enduring friendships.
And it is great to have a convergence of bible reading relating to friendships and a visit of long-time family friends.
I was reading Proverbs 27 today (Sat, 9 Jan 2010) which talked so much about friendships.
16 of the 27 verses in Proverbs 27 relates to relationships.
And the reading is just after a Singaporean family returned after visiting us and another couple in Auckland.
We can trace our friendship way back to around the mid-1990's when we were all from the same cell group in Jurong, Singapore. I was the pastor and zone supervisor and we were all very blessed by the thick friendships that developed over the course of time.
We have already been away in NZ for 7 years and we are so privileged to have friends who tell us that they are visiting NZ primarily to visit with us and that their touring of NZ is secondary.
Paying $2,300 per person at this peak period during their son's school holidays just to spend 8 days here in Auckland is an expression of their deep desire to remain in touch.
Wow!!! I am really touched and floored.
And awed by the grace of God expressing His love through His people.
Wouldn't we wish for more friends like these?
Yes the friendship can all be traced back to our cell group which started some 15 years ago. But fifteen years ago when we had the cell group, we didn't have this kind of expectation except that the cell group was the place to attend, to be involved in and to participate to be edified and to evangelize as we do the 4 W's - Welcome, Worship, Word and the Works.
In engaging in the Word of God as we developed in friendship and in trust, we expected and hoped for transparency in our sharing of the application of the Word of God in our lives. We prayed and hoped that each of us will grow in Christ. Hence, what we get out of the cell groups depends on the cell group dynamics and each individual cell member - whether we are committed in growing as disciples together and expressing the love of Christ towards each other.
We learn how to be sensitive to one another.
We learn not to impose our preferences (as opposed to fundamental Christian beliefs) on others as well as to know when to help.
We may think we may be a blessing but as today's proverbs tells us ...
Prov 27:14
"If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning,
it will be taken as a curse."
Sometimes the right action - the blessing - at the wrong time will be received as a curse.
This is the reason why there is a conflict stage in cell group dynamics.
Will we get pass this conflict stage?
Most cell groups do get pass this conflict stage if the members, especially the core members, pursue and persevere in discipleship.
We all learn to be more sensitive, more aware and less judgmental - and to pray and care for one another.
As trust and friendship develops, we find that we are in the position to sharpen one another.
Prov 27:17
As iron sharpens iron,
so one man sharpens another.
When we briskly rub the knife against the stone to sharpen it, sparks may fly.
Likewise, sparks may fly when cell members rubbed against each other as we all apply the Word to our lives - exchanging different perspectives, critiquing one another, causing each other to be more aware and more sensitive - or vice versa to be less sensitive and to read less into other people's actions. To be less speculative and presumptuous.
We learn not to boast of what we will do in the future (Prov 27:1) and not to praise ourselves for what we had done in the past (Prov 27:2).
Instead we learn to encourage one another by praising each other - because there is certainly good in all of us who not only desire to follow Christ but actually walk in His ways
(Ps 128:1 Blessed are all who fear the LORD,
who walk in his ways.)
As we grow in discipleship, the friendship will grow in intimacy - just as a husband and wife grow in love and intimacy as they grow in discipleship.
As a couple gets closer to God, they find that they get closer to each other as if they were at the base of a triangle coming towards each other as they reach God at the apex.
The foundational key is growth in discipleship.
Discipleship and growth involves openness and receptivity to critique within the friendship.
Prov 27:5 Better is open rebuke
Prov 27:6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted.
But do not accept judgmental comments that discourage us.
The end result of all the sharpening and why I am in praise of the cell group, is that we become such great disciples growing in Christ together in the cell group and growing in deep friendship like the friends who visited us. And we have more friends who could not visit us.
The end result is that we also have friends who are as close to us as our family members and for some, our cell members can be closer than our family members.
Prov 27:10
"better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away."
This is not to denigrate family relationships.
But sometimes a brother can be such a great distance away that our cell member and friend, who is our neighbor, will be in a better position to support us.
We still reminisce and remember the great times we had in the cell groups. The cell meeting will end at 10pm and we look forward to the time of fellowship and snacks. We fellowship until 11pm and sometimes we just lose track of time in the thick of the fellowship and laughter.
Food, Fun, Fellowship - a recipe for Friendship
(undergirded by Fellowship with our Heavenly Father).
This reflection is written in praise of God and in praise of cell groups which blessed us with great friends.
So join a group that talks of Christ ...
Remembering the great times ...
Thanks for being such a great friend.
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